Transvestia

As a boy grows he is made aware that he belongs to the masculine group. He will try very hard to belong. This may well explain the aggressiveness of some TV's, at this period and the fact that some of them excel in sports.

The little TV doesn't realize why he feels such a strong sense of kinship with girls, because he obviously isn't a girl, and by this time his self image has been buried deep by his recognition of the physical facts and social custom which requires that each person project the image of the sex to which he belongs.

The self image may be dormant, but every once in a while it will manifest itself, and on these occasions without quite realizing the import of what he is doing the TV will wonder what it is like to be a girl. Soo ner or later he will try to find out by putting on some article of girls' clothing. He will feel very much ashamed of himself, but the drive will return again and again, and much as he may try to fight the urge, it will not go a- way permanently.

The TV now has to find a means of self justification for his own peace of mind and at the same time he must find some circumstance which will assure public toler- ance of what he does, if not actual approval. He there- fore discovers all sorts of reasons for dressing up, and takes advantage of those opportunities for public display provided by Halloween, the theater and such.

Once a TV has begun to dress a very important development occurs. Each experience brings closer to reality an external realization of the self image, "the girl within" Susanna talks about. Sooner or later a distinct personality emerges. It is in this external real- ization of the self image that we should look for the in- tense satisfaction TV's derive from what they do. Basi- cally this satisfaction is not erotic. Erotic side effects of TV seem to arise from the blind reaction of the in- stincts to what seems to be an approach to a real girl. Once the instincts learn that the TV's girl is a girl of the mind they cease to react. At least TV's who have said anything on the subject seem to be unanimous in

62